Something weird is going on today?

There's and ostrich running through my yard, my maid is hitting my dog with a frying pan, a taxi just crashed into my house, my printer is printing pictures of George Bush, my Face Book account is about to get banned, My cat is attacking the ghost of John Lennon, ghosts are still partying in my basement,Lindsay Lohan is in my bathroom,Ozzy Osbourne is in my closet.Any help?!?!